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Ninja Assassin

  • SumoMe

If Ninja Assassin didn’t star Jeon Ji-Hoon, otherwise known as Rain, the show would have tanked and gone straight to DVD.

Ninja AssassinLooking just slightly ever so promising, the movie hides its paper-thin plot behind a visage of gore, blood and unrealistic CGI-animation. Shame on you, brothers Wachowski’s (The Matrix Series) and James Mcteigue (V for Vendetta), the film was nothing but a snore-fest of cheap thrills.

Raizo (Rain) is the world’s deadliest assassin, raised and trained by the Ozunu Clan, who are believed to be nothing but a myth. While under a strict and almost deadly regiment, he still manages to fall in love with a fellow trainee until she is executed for rebelling. Harbouring nothing but resentment, he soon turns against his training and seeks revenge. Meanwhile, an FBI researcher, Mika Coretti (Naomie Harris) is a Europol agent, a researcher to be exact who stumbles onto the Clan and manages to prove its existence, getting entangled within its crosshairs. Now a target by the clan, Raizo comes to her rescue and they attempt to take them down.

The beginning of the film pretty much summarises what you will see for the entirety of it: some major slicing and dicing with blood spatter galore. It would have been funny if it was touted as some b-grade flick or if it were satirical, but it unfortunately, wasn’t.

The only bright spots for me were Anna Sawai, who plays Raizo’s young love, Kiriko and Ben Miles as Mika’s FBI boss, because I admit, I have a biased opinion from watching episodes of Coupling one too many times. Oh and also, Rain’s fantastic body. I give two thumbs-up for that.

If you feel like you have some time to spare, some stress to relieve by watching a show that doesn’t take two brain cells to rub together, then this show is for you. I pretty much fell asleep near the end, when dialogue was a minimum and Rain was doing his ninja-thing.

Yep: Anna Sawai, Rain’s hot bod and Ben Miles
Oh: Gratuitous slicing, pansy-assed ninja whispering and a swiss cheese plot.
Thumbs: 2 / 5

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