Inspiring Conversations

‘Stache Thrashing

  • SumoMe

We get down to the hairy issue of men and their moustache.

Penny K

There are many things about the opposite sex that baffle me but amongst other things, I don’t quite understand their penchant for keeping facial hair – especially moustaches.

A moustache is facial hair grown on the upper lip. Often the term implies that the wearer grows only upper-lip hair while shaving the hair on his chin and cheeks. Growth of facial hair around the whole face would constitute a beard.

Of course I didn’t need Wiki to tell me that because I’ve been a victim of the tyranny of the moustache for months. After a period of subtle hints that gradually became outright taunts (“I love you, but you’re not Clark Gable”), my boyfriend gave up his quest to be a moustached musketeer.

It could be a symbol of masculinity, but to aspire to Salvador Dali’s upper-lip growth is to me as surreal an ambition as the man’s paintings. I frankly think most men are better off without moustaches.

But after taking into consideration the fact that facial hair makes its first appearance in male adolescence, marking the transition from boy to man, it makes sense why men think moustaches are manly even if some people find them unsightly. Facial hair on men has at different times been a symbol of virility, maturity, social standing, non-conformity, counter-cultural identity, and plain personal pride.

Besides, throughout modern history military men have worn moustaches. Generally the younger men and lower ranks wore the smaller and less elaborate moustaches. As a man advanced in rank, his moustache would become thicker and bushier, until he was permitted to wear a full beard. The more the facial hair, the more authority he commanded.

Biology and bravado aside, fashion plays a large part in the rise of the moustache. With modern day men like The Killers front man, Brandon Flowers, and Jude Law growing their moustache every now and then, it’s hard for guys to not think of moustaches as unattractive.

As the trend of keeping moustaches come and go this topic will never be put to rest; it will continue to have just as many proponents as it does opponents. Writing this brings to me a greater understanding behind the mystery of men and their moustache although I do have to say, the greatest closure came when he shaved it all off.

Jude Law

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If you simply must have a moustache here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Overall length of the mouth
  • Size of the nose
  • Size and fullness of the upper lip area
  • Overall width of the cheeks
  • Shape and width of the jaws and chin area
  • Density of hair growth
  • Facial hair color and texture
  • Current mustache fashions and trends

Experts recommend the following:

  • Large facial features in general – heavy mustache will work with a larger face.
  • Prominent nose – medium to larger mustache will balance a prominent or hooked nose.
  • Long, narrow face – medium to narrow mustache works best.
  • Extra-large mouth or prominent teeth – triangular or pyramid shaped mustache.
  • Extra-small mouth – medium, short mustache.
  • Small facial features – small triangular mustache.
  • Wide mouth with very prominent upper lip – heavy mustache or large handlebar mustache or a large, divided mustache.
  • Round face with regular features – semi-square mustache.
  • Square face with prominent features – heavy, linear mustache with ends curving slightly downward.
  • A full beard that is trimmed into a rounded or square shape and worn with a mustache will disguise a pointy or very prominent chin.

When you’ve had enough of your moustache and want to shave it all off, of course tell your girlfriend to get some champagne, but remember also to shave with the grain!

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