Sit up straight and eyes to the front. Attention please as I talk teacher and go rationally overboard on the subject of friend requests from individuals under the age of 14. Seriously, when the time comes and you start to lead a generation to revolution, you’d want to take down these important notes when your primary school students want to be your friend on Facebook. Listen up and let not the Force be weak.

Penny C is aware of the danger signs.

They look up to you. To them, you’re the expert vessel of all knowledge and the wise words that you share are eagerly received into the core of their brain, valued and stamped in their memory without question. Sure, they might hesitate for a moment. But that moment is quickly eliminated when they remember how you’re the one with the sensible brains.

Stop the sweet lullaby and cue morbid silence. Who are we kidding here? Kids nowadays are climbing fiercely onto the technological bandwagon that stops by them ever so easily. If the first one’s full, they’ll be patient enough to wait for another 30 seconds until they summon the next by clicking the red, blinking button that says “Force Speed”. And with games like Maple Story (I don’t understand this), Happy Aquarium (Don’t even want to try this), Bejeweled Blitz (Guilty of love here) and user friendly social sites available, these kids aren’t only classroom smart, they’re web savvy.

Age limit – there’s no such thing. No one holds them back after dark in this neighbourhood. We never really realise how malicious the web is until a multitude of children with clear abilities in reading and writing prowl the virtual streets, take advantage of loopholes and penetrate menacingly onto social sites disguised as 16 – 18 year olds. We’re talking about Left 4 Dead, kids style.

All right, I may be over exaggerating here, but look at the facts – kids as young as eight are online. These tiny dudes are on the tool that connects every continent, every city and every neighbourhood together – they’re on Facebook. But really though, all they want is their pet “Fluffles” to race with you in Pet Society or start a restaurant together in the big city. It may seem harmless at the beginning, but when innocence turns its tables on you and you’re faced with the reality of receiving friend requests  from the students you teach, its horror.

Let’s examine four aspects of your Facebook account that possibly, or in fact will be, raided by the younger and eager students:

1. Your Status

Expect questions to come rolling in during Monday’s class when over the weekend, your status read, “No one believes me when I say that the latest episode of Naruto was awesome.” Or perhaps it read, “Saturday was great, but go easy on the games guys!” which was followed by comments like “Bend it like Beckham FTW” from Sam, “You could easily climb a few more towers ;)” from Becky and “Come over for more fun, you’re always welcome! :)” by some douche bag who’s your ex college mate but goes by the name of “Uncle Toby” on Facebook.

2. Your Wall

Links, videos, favourite pictures and recent additions to your friends list are clearly visible. Most people wouldn’t have the time to find out whose profiles you’ve been going on lately but when you’re 11 and your teacher’s on your list, things are different. The pathway of easy access to anything is undeniably intriguing to anyone of any age. Also, when it comes to sharing humourous links on Facebook, tinges of NSFK (Not Safe For Kids) content and language always take the laughter up notch. But hey now, the landlord’s here to remind you that you’ve got some serious new kids on your block.

3. Photo Albums

You’ve got albums of you getting a tan at the beach, chilling with buddies at the pub or hilariously posing with random things on the street. Now picture this, there’s a 10 year old who constantly disrupts your class. He’s adorable when obedience takes over but when he’s in havoc mode, putting him in a corner does nothing for the both of you. And having that same kid looking through your Facebook pictures becomes quite an uncomfortable thought. Once these albums have been peered into, it lessens the need of looking professional at school – a good thing or not, it really is subjective. To make matters worse, awkwardness also happens especiallywhen you’ve got pictures of you back when you were in school. A teacher’s past should be carefully  kept hidden from students, or at least until they’re old enough to get that yes, before you became a teacher, you were a geeky student too. Personally, I like traditional barriers and this line of familiarity should be drawn with a thick tipped marker.

4. Profile and Information

Good on you if you’ve got this page very minimally filled up. But if you like having your interests in daydreaming and restacking groceries on the supermarket shelves splashed across your information section, let’s hope the kids don’t notice. Very simple things draw children in; such as what you love to eat and stuff you like to do. They’re very much getting to know you, even if you don’t want them too.

There you have it – this triangle of children, teachers and Facebook is almost Bermudian. Teachers come face to face with students by the drones and it doesn’t matter what academic level they teach. Unless you’ve got a separate account to add your students, you’re fine. But if you’re new to all these and suddenly realise that kids are getting hold of your first names just to add you on Facebook, act fast!

We know that there’s nothing extremely vulgar on your page (if there is and you’re reading this, you probably don’t work with kids). But with those lame links, broken English, crap grammer and wasted (but funny) party pictures, you know your page’s rated at least a ‘PG13’. In the name of fun and insane irrationality, this isn’t about advocating that teachers should think thrice each time they do up their Facebook profiles. This piece is about keeping up with the additional and sometimes unwanted surprises that accompany modern technology.

So as a teacher, the next time you choose to make full use of your authority in reprimanding a student, who’s also on your friends list, in the strictest way possible to instill utmost fear in him, make sure he’s on limited profile. You want the upper hand and the ability to say “If you think this is bad, there’s more of me you’re missing out on Facebook.” with your eyes, of course.

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